tfln overflow.

[brokenparadox]

(continuation from here!)

Comments

[brokenparadox]

So you would have left me behind if you were doing something else? Good to know.

[Squall wasn't always the best when it came to words and Noel knew that but he couldn't help teasing sometimes.]

Did I do backflips or anything insane like that?

[innermonologues]

[ He rolled his eyes to Noel's first comment and shifted against the wall. There was a faint blush rising on his face.]

Not quite.

[brokenparadox]

[Oh, Squall. He knows this might not be a good idea but Noel hates letting things linger, so:]

I'm guessing that suddenly trying to make out with you is why it's 'not quite'.

[innermonologues]

So you do remember...

[ He was going to let it slide and let Noel forget it ever happened to spare the awkwardness. ]

[brokenparadox]

I'm not lucky enough to forget what I've done while drinking.

[Sometimes it can take a few hours to come back but Noel can always recall the memories.]

So, can we talk about this?

[If he really doesn't want to go near the topic at all then Noel would figure that's an answer by itself. But they're grown. Getting through this topic shouldn't be impossible.]

[innermonologues]

We probably should.

[ He pushes off from the wall and folds his arms over his chest while taking a few steps closer to Noel. ]

C'mon We can talk in another room.

[brokenparadox]

[On the one hand he's relieved that Squall isn't shying away from it, but then again ... This could end their friendship, especially if things became awkward and unbearable.

But he nods and caps the bottled water, following wherever Squall would prefer to talk.]

[innermonologues]

[ He walks out into the living room and takes a see on the couch, waiting for Noel to follow him. ]

[brokenparadox]

[Noel slowly plops himself onto the couch, taking a deep breathe.]

So ... Are you upset?

[innermonologues]

No... I'm not upset with you.

[ He was more confused about what happened and his own feelings, but he knew he wasn't upset with him. ]

[brokenparadox]

[That's something.]

I didn't ... Mean to hide it from you. I just thought it would be easier this way, if I didn't say anything. [He takes a deep breathe, and can't bring himself to look at Squall.] It's only been a few weeks.

[That he's felt this way.]

[innermonologues]

Can I ask... what brought these feelings on?

[brokenparadox]

[He can ask anything he wants, but Noel decides against saying that to get to the real answer.]

I know you don't think highly of yourself, but I don't think I've ever felt as 'at home' as I do with you. [That was real descriptive, Noel!] You're kind, honest, and sometimes weirdly difficult, you're strong and on top of all that you're gorgeous.

[innermonologues]

[ he gave Noel a confused look to a few things he said. He wouldn't really call himself kind at all, and gorgeous? He didn't see himself as that, although he knew a lot of people in the Garden seemed to feel that way as well. ]

I see...

[brokenparadox]

I'm not asking you to feel the same way, that's too much to ask for, but it was beginning to feel like I was lying to you.

[innermonologues]

[ After staying silent for a moment. ]

Is that why you went out drinking or was it still because you felt lonely.

[brokenparadox]

I think it was a little bit of both. I was - lonely [Emphasis. His 'loneliness' was in the very physical sense.] and I just kept thinking about how foolish it was, how it might wreck our friendship.

[innermonologues]

Not be be insensitive, but that's stupid.

[ He paused awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. ]

Your feelings wouldn't make me hate you and... if I stuck around for this long, it's likely I'm not leaving soon.

[brokenparadox]

[That ... Shouldn't have made him want to laugh, right? He put a qualifier before his own opinion, and it was strangely appealing.]

I guess you're right. [He plays with the water bottle.] I guess I just didn't want to run the risk, you know? [But Squall is right, it was a little stupid of him to think they'd just stop having anything to do with each other.] So do we have an awkward few days and go back to normal or something?

[innermonologues]

It's only as awkward as you make it, and honestly I prefer that over my "teacher" trying to hit on me during an important exam so...

[ He shrugs his shoulders and glances back over to Noel. He still wasn't really sure how he felt about the kiss, but Noel was similar to him and he knew he'd be over thinking the whole thing. For Noel's sake he was trying to keep casual.

Man social interaction was draining. ]

[brokenparadox]

Wait, what?

[Talk about throwing a red flag strong enough to completely derail his train of thought!]

I-I think it's much less awkward then that. [Mostly because Noel wasn't in some higher position of power.]

[innermonologues]

That's exactly my point. You aren't annoying so it's not as awkward as other things I've dealt with.

[brokenparadox]

I guess that is an upside.

[A weird one but it's better than nothing at all.]

This ended up being a lot simpler than I expected.

[No ridiculous dramatic exposition, no suffering, no broken friendships. Sure, in Noel's ideal little world his feelings wouldn't be one-sided but he's hardly doe eyed about the world. A lot of the time you had to be grateful for what you have, and do your best to keep it. Eventually he'll fall out of these emotions. Or bury them so deeply they never happened.]

[innermonologues]

Were you expecting me to freak out on you?

[brokenparadox]

Isn't that what usually happens?