tfln overflow.

[brokenparadox]

(continuation from here!)

Comments

[innermonologues]

Do I... usually seem like I freak out on you?

[brokenparadox]

Of course not.

[He says this pretty evenly.] But isn't that how things usually go? Some feelings come up and then everything is awkward and difficult. It seems to really change things.

[But to be fair his references were a few talks with some random women before ending up drunk, and also television shows. Noel has been in love with one other person in his entire life, his experience is extremely limited.]

[innermonologues]

I'm not... really experienced in this subject to be honest... And I only recently... attempted to stop shutting everything and everyone out so... I'm probably not the best pick to ask how these things typically go.

[brokenparadox]

I'm not either. I didn't really have to worry about this last time.

[All his friends (and one love) are dead, after all.] All things considered this probably went pretty well. No one threw anything and I don't have to move.

[Seriously, if he had to leave the apartment because of this Noel would be completely fucked over. The love stuff was important, too! But a guy has to have a roof over his head.]

[innermonologues]

I wouldn't throw you out. It's your place too.

[ He gives him a raised eyebrow. Did he really give off that scary of a feeling? He thought Noel was immune to him. ]

[brokenparadox]

[It's not a matter of being scared so much as letting his own fears get out of hand.]

You're right. I know you're right.

[He manages to smile.] Thanks.

[innermonologues]

Sure...

[ He went silent again before he turned toward Noel again. ]

Hey.

[brokenparadox]

[He was about to suggest they go out for breakfast or maybe take the chicks out to play, but that was quickly derailed.]

Yes?

[innermonologues]

Nevermind... it's nothing.

[ Which was squall for feelings are too hard to put into words. ]

[brokenparadox]

It's not nothing if you brought it up.

[It's not judgmental or upset, just an honest statement.]

I'm not going to make you tell me but could anything on your mind be as bad as my romantic feelings?

[innermonologues]

It's not bad just... a little confusing I guess.

[ He paused and stared into his lap. ]

[brokenparadox]

Then that's even better. At least confusing things are interesting.

[He's not letting go of this Squall, you might as well just come out with it.]

[innermonologues]

At least my mind can be entertaining for someone.

[brokenparadox]

It's not entertaining, [That sounded cruel.] it's just complex. Also, you're stalling.

[innermonologues]

A little bit I guess...

[brokenparadox]

[Squall, this look? This look that you're getting?

It's the one that says Noel will sit here and stare at you until you just come out with it.]

[innermonologues]

[ He frowned and turned his head away. This isn't something you just ask. It's embarrassing, but he knows that Noel won't drop this now. ]

[ Awkwardly he moves closer to Noel, still keeping his eyes anywhere else but at him. ]

[brokenparadox]

[... Okay, that's progress but they've sat close to one another before so he doesn't have any reason to be particularly alarmed by this.

Also, no, not dropping it, sorry!]

[innermonologues]

What would you say... if I told you I didn't particularly hate what happened.

[brokenparadox]

[He would say that was the last thing in the world he expected to hear, considering how this conversation just went down.]

I'd say that's a pretty big relief. I'd hate to be a terrible kisser.

[Humor is a defense mechanism.]

[innermonologues]

Real cute, Noel.

[ He gives him a raised eyebrow. ]

[brokenparadox]

[Okay, okay.]

I'd be surprised.

[And that's the honest, true answer.]

[innermonologues]

Then... I guess I didn't hate it.... It shocked me... and I'm not sure what the proper reaction would be, but... it wasn't bad.

[brokenparadox]

[Oh, well then.]

I think usually people say 'I don't return your feelings' or 'I feel the same, lets maybe make out', I don't really know either.

[Literally in the two singular cases of romance, Noel has slowly realized his feelings until they just seemed completely and utterly normal.]

But I think it's also 'proper' to sit and think about. I'm not sure it has to be any one, certain thing. As long as you're happy and I'm happy then nothing else would really count.

[innermonologues]

I... think I'm happy?